While obsessing over my horoscope over at Elle.com (the best for astrology, bee-tee-dubs), I noticed this frightening little charmer of an ad next to my weekly Career forecast:
Yes, now you've seen everything. And, "Toughy," has seen you. He's seen you not brushing, not flossing, brushing once instead of twice a day, brushing only before a date, gargling with Coca Cola, eating this and that, and doing anything else that is generally "yellowing" for your teeth. With those piercing green eyes and precariously pursed little lips, "Toughy" is thinking "Hey, at least I ain't Yellow because all ya'll mother fuckers going down when you go to the dentist next. Believe me: I'm a disembodied tooth-baby."
And, thanks to this glorious ad, I now know exactly why I am going to be having nightmares tonight about crying noises coming out of my mouth because all my teeth are made out of babies.
You win, internet. You win.