WHY 22 IS THE END: WE OBSESS OVER OUR HOROSCOPES

My neighborhood has an unusually high amount of storefronts for psychics. The only thing that prevents me from going in is the fact that it would seem "sad" if I went alone. Not the fact that I want to see a psychic. Then you could tell people you went at as a joke if they find out. Sort of like seeing "Bride Wars" with your gay BFF instead of seeing it alone with one of those tiny packs of tissues your grandma always carries in her purse.

Anypathetic, kf and I follow our horoscope (we are both Taureans) religiously even though we know that the EXACT SAME THINGS never happen to the both of us during the same day, week, or month. We sit at work insisting that we will both find true love AND be promoted this week, all the while not dating anyone and not doing anything about how disgruntled we are between 10 AM and 7 PM. When the horoscope has nothing to do with what is going on in our lives whatsoever, we insist the sun signs have shifted and are in fact Gemini, because the week was totally shitty for Geminis.

PREDICTION: Soon enough, on a Sunday afternoon when once of us is catching The Craft on TBS for the 38th time, we will end up checking out spell books from the library. Hopefully we will at that point become totally embarrassed, explain to the librarian that we were really just trying to research Salem, Massachusetts, and delete ourselves from the ivillage.com daily horoscope email list. Hopefully. Unless those spells totally work.